Murphy's Laws for Moms

Dear Mom, You've always told me that I wouldn't truly appreciate your role as my mom until I was in your shoes.  Well, here I am, but there's no way that these are the same shoes.  Yes, I do thank you for raising me into a strong-willed, independent, courageous woman.  So, why are my children often stubborn, determined, mischievous dare devils? I also thank you for nurturing my curiosity and intelligence.  But, I don't understand why my children mop chocolate pudding and cherry Jello mix into my hardwood floors or bring dead birds into the house.  You taught me to be a polite and empathetic human being and to love others.  My children laugh when they fart and tell me they want a new mom when they don't get to eat chocolate cake for breakfast.  Not to mention, they hit each other, pull hair, scream, and throw tantrums. I appreciate the love you gave to me so that I could return it to you and show you the respect that you deserve.  My chil...

Let's get real.  There are some days - a lot of days - I just want to scream.  Most of the time this happens in public settings (i.e, grocery stores, restaurants, walking down the street, or in the parking lots).  But, then I remember my manners and that people will hear me if I actually perform this act.  Therefore, I just scream internally.  You'll know when I'm doing this when you see me clench my eyes shut, tense every single one of my muscles, my face will turn a deep shade of red (you might even think it's purple), I'll take a deep breath in, and then you'll be able to see my entire body shiver as I slowly - oh, so slowly - exhale.  Internally, it's a very loud scream. Very loud. Very. My husband has been known to make me internally scream, as have traffic and inanimate objects (mainly of the technological type).  However, nothing causes me to internally scream more than my kids. I love my kids.  I really do love them.  I'm not just...

CoCo Chanel once said, "fashion changes--style remains."  As a woman, I have sought to live my life with style.  I have not sought to do this just through my clothing because, as will always be the case, clothing fashions will change.  I have sought to do this with my mind and my beliefs - by becoming a force to be reckoned with both as a wife, a mother, a friend, and every other role that I play.  The style that I have built into my life should be evident to those around me of being a style of a dependable, hard working, passionate, and dedicated woman.  And, I endeavor to teach my kids how to develop their own style beyond the fashions of the world. The problem with teaching children about style is that their first exposure to it is often through fashion.  This; however, isn't always congruent to the trends of the world nor the fashion rules you, as a parent, have for yourself and your children.  No, children develop their style through the showcas...

I am a wife and a mother.  More specifically, I am a military spouse (a.k.a. milspouse), and  I am raising a military family (a.k.a. milfam). As a wife, I want the best for my husband.  As a mother, I want what's best for my children.  I want to be recognized by my husband as being his partner and his friend, as well as a confidante.  I want to be supportive of his goals while he is supportive of mine.  And, I want him to succeed and grow in his potential as a husband, father, and within his career, but also succeed and grow together.  I want my children to understand how to treat others with respect and dignity.  I want them to achieve their goals and grow into the amazing adults I know they will be. As a milspouse and head of a milfam, I also want the best for my husband and children, but also recognize that we're a part of serving something greater than ourselves.  What's best for us may not be what's best for the good of the military ...

After this weekend's situation of taking away all of my kids' toys, I continually thought, "Why can't my kids be normal?"  I was frustrated with their behavior.  Then, I thought, "Perhaps, I'm not a normal parent."  There must be something obviously wrong with me that my children and I always seem to be at odds. If you've known me for any length of time, you'll know my thoughts about normal are extensive and diverse.  My studies in cultural and gender communications have solidified my thoughts and opinions that normal is a socially-defined word.  It's fluid, ever-changing and, quite frankly, ambiguous.  So, why on earth am I trying to use this term to describe my children and my parenting?  Why am I striving for normal ? Then, I realized something BIG...often times, I look at - and describe - normal as being perfect when used in reference to my own children or my parenting.  I try to force the concept that my children shouldn't ...

Today, my children lost their toys.  I'd had enough...the screaming, fighting, throwing, hitting, talking back, and more.  I've threatened to take toys away before, but never quite done it.  Now, I have.  I have to say, I don't know why I didn't do it sooner.  My kids finally realized, I wasn't bluffing. Yes, there were a few tears when the favorite animal went bye-bye.  There was grabbing onto my legs as I carried the laundry baskets (there were six of them) away.  But, eventually, my kids gave in and we had a talk about why the toys were taken away.  The outcome: my kids realized that they hadn't been listening and obeying. As I filled the first few basket full of toys, I was so frustrated that my kids cannot seem to focus on a simple task of picking up their toys before meal times or bedtime.  This has been a consistent battle in our house.  I ask them to pick up their toys, they start to do it, but in the end, they end up making ...

Dear God, I know that I don't pray very often any more.  It seems that, when I start to pray, I get little interruptions.  Then, when I do pray, it's because of emergencies caused by these little interruptions.  However, now that my house is quiet, I have one thing to ask you... Please let my children be sleeping and not on a quiet adventure through my cabinets, drawers, or the toilets.  Please let me find their darling little faces covered in tranquility as they dream of ways to grow big, strong, and healthy without thoughts of how to terrorize their sibling and finally climb to the top of the refrigerator in search of my secret stash of cookies and candy that I so desperately need at the end of each day.  God, please also help my secret stash always stay full. Thank you for my children.  But, more importantly, help me to remember that I am thankful for my children.  They truly are some of my greatest blessings.  I know this...I just don'...