Skip to main content

Why my kids lost their toys

Today, my children lost their toys.  I'd had enough...the screaming, fighting, throwing, hitting, talking back, and more.  I've threatened to take toys away before, but never quite done it.  Now, I have.  I have to say, I don't know why I didn't do it sooner.  My kids finally realized, I wasn't bluffing.

Yes, there were a few tears when the favorite animal went bye-bye.  There was grabbing onto my legs as I carried the laundry baskets (there were six of them) away.  But, eventually, my kids gave in and we had a talk about why the toys were taken away.  The outcome: my kids realized that they hadn't been listening and obeying.

As I filled the first few basket full of toys, I was so frustrated that my kids cannot seem to focus on a simple task of picking up their toys before meal times or bedtime.  This has been a consistent battle in our house.  I ask them to pick up their toys, they start to do it, but in the end, they end up making an even larger mess by taking out more toys that they want to play with.  So, these clean up times usually consist of my kids and I being at odds against each other.  These are not pleasant times for any of us.

As I continued to fill up baskets of toys and haul them away, I realized something.  My kids don't really have the opportunity to focus because they are overstimulated by the abundance that surrounds them.  We have toys everywhere!  And, for the most part, our house is filled with toys that are creative and innovative for my children to learn.  However, focus is something that is cultivated with maturity.  Not everyone has the same capability to focus, but I believe it's - in part - a learned skill. 

My children see me multitasking with my work on a daily basis.  Their work is play.  So, they attempt to imitate the same multitasking.  I'm not showing my children what focus means through my own life.  I'm also not giving them an atmosphere that allows them to focus by having every single one of their toys out at the same time.  Their attention spans are limited so, of course, they're going to continually switch from one toy to the next.  And, when there are a gazillion toys to choose from, they may continually switch toys - never being given an atmosphere that forces them to focus on just a few things at a time.

Now, don't get too upset with me, I didn't toss out the toys.  They're still here in my house, but I've chosen to limit what is in front of them at any given point in time so that I can better cultivate their focus.  In the short time the toys have been gone, we've had less arguments about cleaning up, throwing toys, and all of the other battles that led to them "losing" their toys.  My children are learning to do without everything at their fingertips. I'm also working on stretching this concept into my own life and looking at the abundance that I have around me.  Hopefully this allows me to model focus within my own life.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I'm no longer telling my kids to have fun

Today, I've made an important realization that is changing the way that I talk to my children.  I am no longer going to tell them to have fun. Don't get me wrong, I desperately desire that my children find joy, happiness and laughter through numerous experiences and adventures.  But, my children's definition of fun and mine have two VERY different meanings. I'll give you an example. My almost four-year-old son loves to destroy things.  He's like his dad - a man who just wants to learn how things work, as well as cause and effect.  So, he takes apart toys, sister's dolls, kitchen appliances, and more.  He tears books because "the story was in the wrong order."  He pushes buttons - both literally and figuratively.  He colors on walls, floors, computer monitors, furniture, carpet and more because he wants to create maps and "building plans" for his Duplos.  This is his idea of fun . Do you see my dilemma?  His idea of fun is so completel

Leadership Mom: SWOT Analysis

In business, leaders often analyze our Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats through a SWOT analysis.  So, if we are going to look at our role as moms as being the greatest leadership opportunity to us, let's start with analyzing ourselves and our kids.  Here's the SWOT I developed for my family: Family SWOT Analysis As a doting mother, there are hundreds of strengths that I could put up here for my kids.  Their hugs, kisses, bedtime stories and prayers, the fact that they come to me when they're seeking healing from an injury (physical or emotional), the notes and drawings they make for me, their precious hearts when they try to help me or that they've learned how to use the Keurig to bring me coffee in the morning...I could go on and on. Now, here's the part where we get honest with ourselves.  Yes, we love our kids and we love our family (or, hopefully, most of the time), but we are not perfect.  Nor should we be perfect.  As we analyze oursel

AIOs, Pocket, and Prefolds...Oh, my!

As mentioned in my previous blog, cloth diapers are not your momma's cloth diapers any more.  Now, the lingo can be daunting.  There are AIOs, AI2s, diaper covers, doublers, fitted diapers, flat diapers, hybrid diapers, inserts, liners, one-size diapers, pocket diapers, and prefolds. When I first began my cloth diaper research, all of the different options overwhelmed me, and I didn't know where to begin.  So, I did the only thing I knew to do...I asked other moms! While every mom will have a different story to share with cloth diapers, you still get some very good information.  I learned why moms liked the diapers they chose, some of the downsides, and the costs to the different diaper systems.  I also began to develop my own decisions on how I wanted to start the cloth diapers.  When I first thought about using cloth diapers, I was dead set against anything that wasn't an all-in-one (AIO).  These are the Porsches of the diaper world.  There's no messing with diaper pi