Murphy's Laws for Moms

A poem for all of you mothers - and fathers: My alarm clock was set for six o'clock on the dot. You woke up much earlier, a battle we've continually fought. You came to the side of my bed and stood stoically still. With your nose half an inch from mine, it was quite a thrill. We began our tug of war game we play every day. Which clothes do you wear; a flower girl dress is not for play. Your outfits may not match, but they will all have a theme. All plaid, sparkles, and Hello Kitty are appropriate, or so you deem. While we struggle to get out the door in the morning. Your brother, Silent Warrior, found the Sharpies with no warning. My dining room walls now need a repair. No worries! Alcohol will provide the right care. We make it to school, and I get a small break. Since Costco doesn't open for another hour - I wait. Sleep would be nice, but there isn't the time. But, oh, just the thought is completely sublime. School ends too soon, I only got half...

Before having a child, I thought that I didn't have many regrets.  I have had a good life and been blessed to do many things.  What was there to regret? However, as I watch my child grow, I notice that there are so many times when I have rushed through life and avoided really focusing on what's around me.  Having a child has changed that.  Not only do I now have to notice everything around me (for fear that my child will get into it), but I have to teach my child about all that surrounds her...to know the difference between red and purple, one and ten, dogs and cats, edible and yucky, play time and quite time, good and bad, right and wrong, and so many more things. Just this morning, I found myself trying to rush through the day so that we could get to nap time.  I needed rest after the lack of sleep this week has brought me.  But, my daughter didn't want anything to do with it.  She wasn't throwing a temper tantrum (thankfully) and she wasn't screechi...

It's so easy to get stuck in one schedule and just keep on going like the "stop" or "pause" buttons are broken.  This has been my life recently.  With all of the holiday happenings: Thanksgiving, Christmas shopping, cookie parties, play group parties, work parties, decorating the house, more Christmas parties, etc. etc. etc., I've barely had a chance to have life as I know it.  Then, when you toss in a child, the fast forward button seems to be pushed.  Days fly by and before I know it, it's less than two weeks until Christmas! I don't really have a way to stop this, but thought I'd share that this is what I'm going through right now.  While it is a blast, it is also a little bit crazy.  Hopefully you're finding ways to stop and smell the pine of the Christmas trees.  Let me know how you do it!

I have to admit, the idea of starting my daughter off on solid foods both excited me and made me nervous.  There are so many theories about how to get your child started on his or her first foods, which foods to avoid, how to start them off, whether or not to make your own food or buy baby food, and so on and so on.  How was I ever going to manage everything and make all of the right decisions so that my daughter would continue to thrive? Thankfully, I quickly learned that, no matter what theory I used to approach solid foods, my daughter was going to do or want the opposite.  Trying to introduce solid foods became so difficult and time-consuming for me that I finally just gave in and found the one method that my daughter would eat, with the one food she would eat:  chicken with brown rice on a gigantic wooden spoon. Now, most manuals and baby food books say not to introduce meats as a first food.  This wasn't the first food that I tried to introduce.  We s...

Shakespeare was a smart man...that might be an understatement, but needless to say he knew a bit about life.  And, this is something that I - as a mother - strive to have.  The problem comes when I look at all of the other mothers around me and realize that they're doing such a better job at being a mother.  I try to do the things that they do, but I fail.  So, I'm going to take a little Shakespearean advice and be true to my own self. I teach a lot of fitness classes and, during these, continually remind my clients that no two people have the same body.  Therefore, no two people's bodies will function exactly the same.  We have to recognize the movements and strengths within our own bodies and then realize the limitations that we have so that we don't injure ourselves.  This thought is also true with life and being a mother.  No two mothers are the same.  And, each of us has our own strengths and limitations.  Realizing and incorporatin...

Let's face it, life after a baby completely changes the way we (moms) act, think, and look at life...and romance.  Gone are the days when I hope my husband comes home with flowers and sweeps me off my feet like is so commonly seen in romance movies.  No, the very notion of romance has completely evolved into something else in my new, crazy life as a mother. I'm not saying that romance is gone.  Quite the opposite...romance is still very present and needed in my life.  However, it's different.  A friend of mine once showed me the book Porn for New Moms .  I didn't completely understand it at the time (I hadn't yet had children), but it made me laugh.  The very thought of a man coming home and offering to take the baby so that mom can get a bath or go out with girlfriends seemed ridiculous.  Now, I completely understand the concept! As a mom, we want romance.  But, what really is romance?  I think that it's feeling appreciated for the pers...

We all have things that make us feel gorgeous.  For me, it's shoes.  I have lots of "happy" shoes.  My husband has never quite understood the fact that the right pair of shoes can make me feel great!  They may be my bright pink moccasins or my Audrey Hepburn red heels with a bow on the toe, or they may be the brightly colored, fuzzy slippers that are oh-so-comfortable.  Whichever shoe I'm in the mood for, my emotion changes the second I put it on.  I go from being down-in-the-dumps to happy and excited for the day to come. My "Happy" Shoes (notice the spit up on one pair) Pregnancy, both pre-natal and post-partum, is a time of emotional highs and lows.  People say stupid things to us (that's a separate blog issue), we gain weight, hair grows in odd places, we lose hair, our skin changes, and we have these lovely lines developing on our bodies.  Basically, a lot of things we didn't know would happen - or didn't think would happen - occur....

Let's face it, staying in shape can seem like an impossible task.  Then, you add the thought of growing another human being inside you - plus all the hormones involved with that - and staying in shape is one of the last things we think about. Thankfully, there are other people out there who are able to help us!  This is where my friend, and health counselor, Michelle comes in.  Michelle has been counseling men and women around the country about maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  Now, Michelle is bringing her knowledge and experience to any woman who is thinking about pregnancy, is pregnant, or wants to get pregnant again. Be sure to sign up for Michelle's latest e-course, Building a Baby Ready Body .  This course is sure to provide you with information about how to properly care for your body as you begin to consider pregnancy.  While you're on Michelle's site, be sure to check out some of her phenomenal recipes.  She's got some amazing foods that are s...

Exercise can either be a good or bad thing depending on your personality, past experiences, and lifestyle.  But, there's no doubt that exercise, whether you like it or not, is a fact of life once you become a parent. The first few weeks after we brought Baby home, the only way to calm her was to walk up and down the stairs in our house.  We did this over and over and over - all through the day and the night.  My husband and I would take turns and our calves turned into rock solid muscle.  As Baby began to get bored with the stairs, I had to develop some creativity.  We would bounce on the ball (a core balancing exercise), do sit ups on the ball (an ab/oblique workout), and even do squats against the wall with the ball (a quad/hamstring/glute workout).  As Baby grew and gained more weight, my biceps and triceps developed into a sculpted phenomenon of which I had only previously dreamed.  I even managed to work in some deltoid/rhomboid/trap (shoulder and...

None of us really remember how we learned to go to the bathroom.  To us, it's simpler than almost any other function we do.  But, when you have a child all of that changes. Now, most of you probably think that this blog is going to be about potty training your child.  Well, it's not.  Let's face it; there's a lot that needs to be learned about "going potty" even before you get to potty training.  I won't get into the details of going to the bathroom after delivery...I don't want to scare away any blog readers who haven't yet had children.  No, let's talk about going to the bathroom when you have nowhere to put Baby.  The obvious decision is then to retrain yourself in how to go to the bathroom with Baby. As women, we know how to effectively use public restrooms.  We can hover, squat, and maneuver our bodies into positions so that we never have to touch the toilet seat.  But, you add a child to this equation and things become a little bit more...

There are a lot of professions that take years upon years to develop the skills, intelligence, intuition, and abilities in order to properly function in the profession.  People take thousands of hours of classes and practicums.  They spend decades developing and advancing their technologies and furthering their professions.  These professions are truly amazing.  They're not meant for the average person. Motherhood is similar to these professions - except that you're not given years to prepare or thousands of hours to perfect your skills and enhance your knowledge.  It's a "learn by fire" career.  And, yes, it is a career.  If lucky, you're given nine short (although they may seem long at the time) months to prepare. Some may say that a girl prepares all her life to be a mother.  But, is this really true?  From a young age we "play" mom, and we may even babysit or work as a childcare provider.  But, is this truly learning how to be a mom?...

Every woman wants to feel sexy.  The definition for each of us may be slightly different.  For some, it's wearing stilettos while doing dishes or taking an hour to fix your hair that way you love to fix it, but never have time.  Others may feel sexy while dancing to that favorite song that you and your college roommate danced to while getting ready for a night on the town.  For me, it's what's underneath that counts.  Yes, I'm talking about the undergarments. Let's face it, during pregnancy and afterward, it's hard to find nice bras and panties.  The nursing bras feel more like sports bras or the kind that your grandmother would wear.  You can't wear any Wonderbra, Very Sexy, or other bras that keep things in place.  No, you're relegated to the no underwire, no push up bras that don't cause clogged ducts and are padded - not for the sake of enhancing, but for the purpose of absorbing milk should you decide not to wear nursing pads.  The panti...

I look at my daughter every day and think, "Life would be great if I could just return to being a baby!"  Think about it.  People want you to sleep.  They fix your food for you and even feed it to you. They're happy when you burp, fart, poop, or pee.  You get praise for simply saying "ma ma" or "da da", smiling, laughing, sitting up, standing up, crawling, walking, or even just doing nothing at all.  Plus, you've done a full day's work after simply playing with toys all day.  Oh, this is definitely the life! A mother's day, on the other hand, is never finished.  We spend all day taking care of our loved ones, making sure they have everything they need, fixing broken toys or mending torn clothes, reading stories that rhyme, singing songs about farm animals or the wheels on a bus, and then try to find time to sleep to have the energy to do it all over again the next day.  This is not to mention that some of us also have "day jobs" t...

Since I assume that most of you reading this are either mothers or women who want to eventually be mothers, then we each know that our child (or child-to-be) is the brightest and most well-developed child out there (who wouldn't agree?!).  Our prodigy child wants to see and do everything - especially at night.  And, as mothers, we all know who gets to wake up during the middle of the night to teach Baby that, when the moon is out, we sleep...us!  A mother's physical need for sleep seems to diminish during the first months after Baby arrives.  But, our mental need for sleep is still ever present reminding us - day after day - that we are exhausted. Well, establishing night time sleep isn't impossible, and this blog will tell you how I did it and had my baby sleeping through the night by nine weeks old (which, for her age, was six hours of blessed, uninterrupted sleep). I read many books prior to Baby's arrival about establishing a good sleep habit.  On Becoming ...

A lot of people will tell you that the first time you glance into that bundle of joy's little eyes, you'll be hooked.  And, for many people this may be true.  For me; however, this "bundle of joy" that was handed to me felt more like an alien.  It took me a lot longer than the first glance to realize that this was my child and that I was, in fact, a mother. Now, I don't want you to think that I despised my baby or didn't want to be a mother.  It was quite the opposite.  I had been hoping and praying for a baby for a long time.  And, upon learning the news of my pregnancy, I was elated!  But, throughout my pregnancy, it never truly hit me what it would feel like to be a mother.  And, it took several weeks after the birth of Baby to actually feel like I was a mother.  When Baby was born, she didn't look like me, she didn't seem to recognize me or my voice, and I didn't have an instant connection with her.  After several days, my husband an...

So, the first "episode" of "What Mother Won't Tell You" got such a huge response that I decided to write some more.  This seems to be such a huge area that we don't talk about, so let's get it ALL out in the open!  For those friends who requested it, here you go!  Since the warning was already included on the first part, I'll just add a gentle reminder...tread lightly! Let's get straight into details.  During the last post I included my "New Momma" gift: overnight pads (without wings), Medela nursing pads, Medela nipple cream, cheap underwear, and a bottle of KY.  Now, here are the specific details for the reason behind these items: 1.  Overnight pads (without wings) and cheap underwear:  When I first went into labor and went to the hospital, even though I had taken all the preparatory courses, I still had very little idea of what to expect.  So, when I saw the gigantic "get everything", looks-like-a-puppy-potty-training pad o...

**As a special note, this blog entry talks about some detail into things that happen with a woman's body after pregnancy.  It is not for the faint-hearted.  Proceed with caution! How many of us who have gone through labor and delivery came out of it thinking: "Oh yeah, that's EXACTLY like all of my friends said it would be!"  Well, I wasn't one of those people.  I was the person who came out of my labor and delivery saying, "REALLY?!  This is what my mother went through?  No wonder she didn't tell me!"  Then, after the first six weeks of Baby being home, I knew exactly why my mother never told me everything that would happen...she was afraid she wouldn't become a grandmother! Now, don't get me wrong.  I ABSOLUTELY LOVE being a mother, and I'd never ask for anything - or anyone - else.  However, let's face it, labor, delivery, and those first few weeks are not like the movies or TV shows.  Labor lasts a lot longer (for those of us luck...

Everyone needs a night out once in a while.  Whether it's a night on the town or just dinner and a movie, getting away can be a great stress reliever.  However, when a baby's involved, it can also be a stress maker. The first time I left my child at home with a sitter, I was both excited and terrified.  I had been planning for this event since even before my daughter arrived.  I had a charity gala to attend six weeks after my daughter's due date.  Tickets had been purchased.  I had my formal dress.  I made sure my husband would be available.  Everything was set.  Then...my daughter arrived in this world and I wasn't sure I'd be able to leave her. Leaving a child for the first time can be excruciating.  Not knowing how they're going to respond, if they'll eat, if they'll sleep, if it will mess up their schedule, etc. etc. etc.  These are all things that go through your mind (or at least mine).  When preparing for my night out, I...