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Romancing Mom

Let's face it, life after a baby completely changes the way we (moms) act, think, and look at life...and romance.  Gone are the days when I hope my husband comes home with flowers and sweeps me off my feet like is so commonly seen in romance movies.  No, the very notion of romance has completely evolved into something else in my new, crazy life as a mother.

I'm not saying that romance is gone.  Quite the opposite...romance is still very present and needed in my life.  However, it's different.  A friend of mine once showed me the book Porn for New Moms.  I didn't completely understand it at the time (I hadn't yet had children), but it made me laugh.  The very thought of a man coming home and offering to take the baby so that mom can get a bath or go out with girlfriends seemed ridiculous.  Now, I completely understand the concept!

As a mom, we want romance.  But, what really is romance?  I think that it's feeling appreciated for the person we are and feeling as though we're a part of a team.  I want my husband to look at me and know exactly what I'm feeling and what I need without having to tell him.  As a mother, I crave feeling like an adult, but so often my life don't allow this.

When my husband comes home and offers to take Baby or when he knows there's a poopy diaper yet doesn't hand her back to me, this is romance.  He is recognizing that he too is a part of our relationship and respecting the fact that I've been home all day with Baby - unable to have anyone else help with her care.  By giving me a minimum of five minutes alone (not changing a diaper or being spit up on), I feel closer to my husband than if he were to bring home a dozen roses (Sweetie, if you're reading this, just know that a dozen roses will always be accepted).  The more ways that my husband helps, the sexier he becomes to me.  And, saying this as tactfully as I can, the sexier my husband is, the more my response isn't going to be "I just want to go to sleep" when he asks me what I want to do that evening.

With all this in mind.  I've made a list of the things that are romantic to me.  Be sure to leave a comment with how you like to be romanced.

  1. A home-cooked meal (that I didn't prepare)
  2. A surprise babysitter (that I didn't have to schedule)
  3. The hubby watches Baby while I go out with girlfriends
  4. A surprise back massage because my husband realizes I've been carrying Baby around all day
  5. The hubby watches Baby so I can get a bath
  6. Daddy reading to Baby
  7. Daddy interacting with Baby
  8. The hubby folding a load of diapers or baby clothes (or any other load of laundry)
  9. A daddy who attempts to accessorize his daughter
  10. A daddy who has fallen asleep with Baby so that Mommy could do other work


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