Murphy's Laws for Moms

There's something about becoming a mom that changes your perspective.  No longer are you living a life just for yourself.  Your decisions now take on a deeper impact because they not only impact your future, but also the future of your children. Choosing the battles you fight become more and more important because not every battle has lasting meaning.  If I choose to let my daughter go to school with her hair unbrushed suddenly doesn't make as much sense as letting her learn independence through getting herself ready in the morning.  Eating a home cooked, well-rounded meal that may take hours to prepare isn't as important as letting my kids have a backwards dinner (i.e, starting with dessert and working backwards through our courses - although still ending with another dessert) so that my kids benefit from enjoying gathering together as a family at mealtime. Becoming a mom changes your perspective.  I look around me and see dangers that I want my children to a...

To my child, Today you told me you hate me.  It wasn't the first time, and it probably won't be the last.  Our relationship will always be at odds with each other.  This is the nature of being mother and daughter.  I had - and sometimes still have - the same relationship with my own mother, and she had the same relationship with her mother. The truth of the matter is that I struggle being a mother.  Nothing in my life has prepared me for this task.  I'm learning as I go...and I'm making a lot of mistakes.  Growing up, I was taught to be a strong woman.  In my career, I have been placed in positions to show my strength and independence.  But, being a strong woman does not always translate to being a strong mother.  Too often these terms are separated to say you cannot have both.  As a mom, I have attempted to balance life as a woman and life as a mother instead of combining these terms into something more manageable. If I'm bei...

So many times during the day I try to be a good, Christian mom.  I thank God for giving me two vibrant children who fill my house with...and that's where I get stuck. Because, truthfully, what I often feel like my house is filled with is chaos, clutter, disasters, screaming, fighting, tears, and insanity.  My house is not my sanctuary.  It is not a place where I feel at rest.  Half the day I'm running up and down stairs, pulling things out of toilets, scrubbing messes off floors, pulling kids apart, and hosing them down. By the end of the day, I'm done.  I find myself just yearning for my kids to finally go to sleep, to shut their doors and hear no more questions or needs. I try to count it all as joy, but this is a tough thing to do when you have no energy left to feel any emotion beyond pure exhaustion.  Let's be honest. Joy takes energy.  It takes motivation.  It takes switching my mind from what would be much easier - to just be defeated -...

I'm sitting down, enjoying a cup of coffee at my favorite coffee shop, having a conversation with friends, making that all-important phone call, or actually sitting down at a nice restaurant ordering adult food.  It never seems to fail...these are the moments my children will choose to be their worst.  They will scream, be obnoxious, throw a tantrum, say something inappropriate or impolite.  To those of you who are in the spaces surrounding me or on the other end of the line, my children do not always act this way.  It may seem like they're unruly and they may be an annoyance to you.  You're right.  In these moments they are.  However, do not judge them.  They are still learning. You may not know that my children didn't sleep well last night because of nightmares or monsters under their bed.  You may not realize that they're sad because we just lost a pet.  You're unaware that they're dealing with a deployed daddy - or a mommy who ha...

I may not have mentioned this already, but last year my husband and I made the decision that I should leave my job.  Working nearly full time - even telecommuting from home - and raising a child with a husband also working full time was causing a lot of stress on my life and my marriage, but it also wasn't allowing us to raise our child the way that we had hoped.  The transition from paid worker to unpaid servant was difficult.  And, it's still something that I cope with each day.  However, I've found ways to redefine myself not just as a mom, but as a professional with some serious clout!  I became a volunteer. Volunteers aren't typically thought of as being professional nor building career reputations.  This image is definitely wrong...when you've got the right organization training you.  Several years ago, I made the decision to join the Junior League.  While I originally did this to make friends, this decision has grown into a commitment and a...

Ever since becoming a mom, there are key words and phrases that I have tried my best not to say.  It's not that there's really anything wrong with these words and phrases...it's that I don't want to become the cliche mom who is always saying things like, "Because I said so" or "When I was your age..."  So far, I've done pretty well at skipping these phrases, but I've been shocked at some of the other things that come out of my mouth when talking to my sweet pea.  So, I thought I'd share... We don't touch puppy/cat/pig/goat/bunny bottoms. Heads don't go in potties. Dip your food, not your fingers. We only spit after brushing our teeth. Puppy food is for puppies. You pooped in the potty!!  YEAH! We don't drink Bud Light........yet. (Hey, I'm from St. Louis) What phrases have most surprised you after flowing from your lips?

It's been a while since my last blog.  Life seems to take up so much more time once my Sweet Pea started walking.  It's been just over a month, but I've already lost the ability to focus on individual tasks as they continually get interrupted by the need to get someone out of the dog bowls, out of the plants, into the potty, or redressed.  Busyness has been completely redefined when you're looking our for someone with a 30-second attention span. However, life as a mother is also a lot more interesting and challenging as each new accomplishment is achieved. My Sweet Pea interacts with me (albeit, not always for the best) and tells me some of what she wants (apparently, I never feed her as she's always asking for "more").  She looks at the world with eyes I wish I still had...eyes that never get bored.  She can read Dr. Seuss's Mr Brown Can Moo over and over and, every time she gets to "He can sound like a hand on a door..." she knocks her own...

With Mother's Day quickly approaching...hint, hint to all the father's and children reading this blog post...I thought I'd do a quick recap of what I've learned over the past year about a mother's job.  A mother's job, while quieted within society, is rarely filled with quiet. It's filled with spills, spit ups, pukes, poops, dirty laundry, and dirty diapers because it's not a clean job.  Because of this, we fill the diaper bag with a change of clothes for both Baby and Mama Our days are not filled with sleep.  Sleep is overrated; naps are essential. As is coffee...more than one cup.  The coffee shop knows to keep that cup full. Happiness for a mother is that first night you get four hours of sleep. It's the first smile and laugh - even if it is because of gas. It's finding time to take a shower and fix your hair. It's making it through a day with no blow outs. It's eating a hot meal. It's finding your belly button and taking those fir...