Skip to main content

The mom perspective

There's something about becoming a mom that changes your perspective.  No longer are you living a life just for yourself.  Your decisions now take on a deeper impact because they not only impact your future, but also the future of your children. Choosing the battles you fight become more and more important because not every battle has lasting meaning.  If I choose to let my daughter go to school with her hair unbrushed suddenly doesn't make as much sense as letting her learn independence through getting herself ready in the morning.  Eating a home cooked, well-rounded meal that may take hours to prepare isn't as important as letting my kids have a backwards dinner (i.e, starting with dessert and working backwards through our courses - although still ending with another dessert) so that my kids benefit from enjoying gathering together as a family at mealtime.

Becoming a mom changes your perspective.  I look around me and see dangers that I want my children to avoid.  Sometimes they're silly dangers like a puddle in the middle of the parking lot when my child isn't wearing rain boots.  Other times, they're larger dangers like a sketchy looking situation taking place in a nearby home or business...one that I neither want my children to see or become involved in.

As a mom, I've begun to realize the importance of taking action and teaching my children the importance of standing up to people and situations that can harm them.  Whether it's bullying in a classroom, at the bus stop, playing with neighbors or online, I want my children to know how to take action in attempting to resolve the situation with words and, when that's not possible, then talking to someone in authority.  Or, maybe it's taking action against abuse - whether domestic or societal, as with human trafficking.  I want my children to understand that it is OK - and right - to stand up for people who either cannot or will not stand up for themselves.  Through being an example to them of a loving home, I hope that their instincts are being filled with understanding that physical harm is not appropriate and should be stopped.  And, sometimes this means calling the police - over and over and over again - so that they can step into a dangerous situation.

But, as a mom, I've also changed my perspective on helping those in need.  I want my children to be compassionate human beings who, when they see someone in need, they are willing to reach out and help.  But, I also want them to understand what being in need means - and that means teaching them the difference between need and want.  Even though I often have the capability of fulfilling my children's wants, I will choose not to do this so that they can better understand that this desire is not of need.  I will allow my children to go into situations different from their own - so that they can understand not everyone lives like us.  I will teach my children about poverty, sickness, death, and more so that they can also learn about empathy, kindness, and adversity.

As a mom, my perspective has changed from simply being the person who volunteers my time to make a difference in other people's lives.  Now, my perspective is to be the difference in my children's lives so that they can make a difference in even more lives.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

If you give a mom a coffee cup

If you give a mom a coffee cup, she'll say "thank you" and immediately go to the coffee pot. 

At the coffee pot, she'll start the coffee and pour herself a cup...noticing the full cup of cold coffee that she poured herself yesterday.

She'll take the cold cup of coffee to the sink, dump it down the drain, and go to put it in the dishwasher.

She'll open the dishwasher and realize that it's full of clean dishes that need to be put away.

She'll put away all of the clean dishes and then will put in the dirty - now empty - cup of coffee from yesterday.

She'll notice that there are other dirty dishes in the sink that need to go into the dishwasher, so she'll put them all in the dishwasher.

She'll then realize that there may be other dirty dishes other places in the house and will go looking for them...finding them in bathrooms, on the coffee table, under beds, and in the sandbox outside.

While looking for dirty dishes, she'll notice that ther…

Why can't they just be friends?

Why can't my kids just be friends?  I must ask myself this question hundreds of times during the week. 

I thought that having kids relatively close together was going to be great.  They'd have a playmate and an automatic friend.  However, the truth is that - most of the time - they don't get along.  It's not that they're enemies...it's that they drive each other crazy. 

They each want the other one to do what they want to do.  Then, when the other one does what they want, they get mad at them because they wanted to do it themselves.

They don't want to share their toys.  Then, they play together only to then get mad and purposefully break the other sibling's toys.

They want to get the other one in trouble so that they look like the "good" child and get more rewards.  Then they get upset that the other sibling got them in trouble when they *tattled* on them.

At mealtimes, they want to sit where the other one is sitting.  They want the cup the ot…

Portland's Rose Summit

I have a great passion for working with women to become stronger leaders who are making differences in their communities.  It is with this in mind that I share with you an amazing opportunity for Portland women: the Junior League of Portland's inaugural Women's Empowerment & Leadership Summit.

This leadership summit will be held on May 11, 2018 at the Hilton Downtown Portland and is a day-long leadership and professional development conference open to all women in the Portland and surrounding communities.

The theme is Diversity and Inclusion and the Junior League is honored to feature Tarana Burke, activist and founder of the #MeToo Movement.  The Summit will offer opportunities for workshops, speakers, networking, and camaraderie among women in all stages of leadership around our community.

The Summit is a major fundraiser for the Junior League of Portland and all proceeds from the event support the League's community fund, the 1910 Campaign, with 100% of the money ra…