Skip to main content

Yes, my children are obnoxious

I'm sitting down, enjoying a cup of coffee at my favorite coffee shop, having a conversation with friends, making that all-important phone call, or actually sitting down at a nice restaurant ordering adult food.  It never seems to fail...these are the moments my children will choose to be their worst.  They will scream, be obnoxious, throw a tantrum, say something inappropriate or impolite. 

To those of you who are in the spaces surrounding me or on the other end of the line, my children do not always act this way.  It may seem like they're unruly and they may be an annoyance to you.  You're right.  In these moments they are.  However, do not judge them.  They are still learning.

You may not know that my children didn't sleep well last night because of nightmares or monsters under their bed.  You may not realize that they're sad because we just lost a pet.  You're unaware that they're dealing with a deployed daddy - or a mommy who had to travel for a few days.  They just came from the doctor's office where they had to get several immunizations or a specialists office to see why their body isn't functioning the way that other children's bodies are supposed to function.  Or, maybe they're just plain having a bad day because it's raining and they really wanted to go to the park.  And, they're definitely not happy because their sibling just broke their favorite toy.  Sometimes, they simply want to be selfish and get what they want, when they want it...don't we all?

During these times, I will make my best attempt to not disrupt your busy day or important work.  But, realize that I also am having a busy day with important work.  I'm growing our future.  I'm educating my children on the ways of the world and what is and is not appropriate at different times and locations.  I cannot do this without taking my children out into the world. 

When you see me dealing with each educational moment that my kids are going through, perhaps you could assist me with this education by modeling for my kids what appropriate behavior looks like - and it's not glaring at my children, yelling at or getting upset with them or me. As I am attempting to teach my own kids, if you don't have something nice to say (or a nice action to make), don't do it.  Perhaps my children's behavior is because they are seeing the actions and hearing the words of adults around them - I've found this to be true on many occasions.

I will respond to my children's behavior.  It may not be the way that you deem appropriate but, then again, you're not their parent.  You don't know the situations that have led up to this behavior nor do you always recognize their age and level of emotional and mental development that is appropriate with this age.  If you are annoyed by my children's behavior, then understand that I am exponentially more appalled when you don't recognize this educational experience we're working through.

Give my children a chance to learn from their mistakes.  Someday, they'll learn (at least I pray this to be true).




Comments

  1. AMEN! Unless there is a serious risk of the child hurting themselves or someone else, there is no need to say a darn thing - and in that case, being rude or acting annoying is not necessary. On the flip side, if I think it will help, I'm the weirdo who will bend down and wave or have a conversation to distract the kid while waiting in line or whatever. Why not help out a busy parent? And really, are active children in a store or restaurant any more annoying than someone being loud and rude on their phone? Or teens who think it's funny to be obnoxious and pushy in front of their friends? I think not. Kids are kids for Pete's sake - they are still LEARNING how to act in public!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If you give a mom a coffee cup

If you give a mom a coffee cup, she'll say "thank you" and immediately go to the coffee pot. 

At the coffee pot, she'll start the coffee and pour herself a cup...noticing the full cup of cold coffee that she poured herself yesterday.

She'll take the cold cup of coffee to the sink, dump it down the drain, and go to put it in the dishwasher.

She'll open the dishwasher and realize that it's full of clean dishes that need to be put away.

She'll put away all of the clean dishes and then will put in the dirty - now empty - cup of coffee from yesterday.

She'll notice that there are other dirty dishes in the sink that need to go into the dishwasher, so she'll put them all in the dishwasher.

She'll then realize that there may be other dirty dishes other places in the house and will go looking for them...finding them in bathrooms, on the coffee table, under beds, and in the sandbox outside.

While looking for dirty dishes, she'll notice that ther…

Leadership Mom

Maybe you noticed that it's been a while since I posted...maybe not.  There's a good reason for this.  I've been an exhausted mom.  Lately, it seems that I find myself going in one direction only to look back and see that my kids, husband, work, school, dog...you name it...are going in the opposite direction.  I've tried pushing through.  I've thought about just giving in.  I've even thought how am I going to survive another day.  The days get longer and longer as I stay up later and later trying to accomplish all of the tasks that I think I'm supposed to be accomplishing throughout the day.

Then, a kid gets sick.  Then, another kids...and another kid...gets sick.  Then, the husband gets sick.  Then, the dog has to go to the vet.  And, finally, after everyone is well and we're in the midst of the busiest week of our lives...I get sick.

At this point, I have to understand that I'm not superhuman.  Or so you would think.  But, as a mom, I feel the pre…

Leadership Mom: Vision

Before we delve too deep into the strategies and planning on our leadership as moms, we have to first talk about what our vision is.

We aren't talking about our daily mission that - if you're like me - is often just to survive the day.  Nor are we talking about the generic response, "To raise well-mannered children."  Because, really...there's a lot more to it than just having good manners when you send them out the door at 18.

Our vision is our grandiose dream - the ideal - of who we are as an organization (a.k.a., family).  This is the perfect scenario - our dream - with no failures or setbacks.  When I think about my vision for my family, I think about having patience; developing deep, meaningful relationships with my kids and husband; working together as a family; making a positive impact on our extended family and the neighbors around us (maybe even around the nation and world), staying healthy and safe, and continually learning.

So, perhaps I'm asking f…