Skip to main content

Yes, my children are obnoxious

I'm sitting down, enjoying a cup of coffee at my favorite coffee shop, having a conversation with friends, making that all-important phone call, or actually sitting down at a nice restaurant ordering adult food.  It never seems to fail...these are the moments my children will choose to be their worst.  They will scream, be obnoxious, throw a tantrum, say something inappropriate or impolite. 

To those of you who are in the spaces surrounding me or on the other end of the line, my children do not always act this way.  It may seem like they're unruly and they may be an annoyance to you.  You're right.  In these moments they are.  However, do not judge them.  They are still learning.

You may not know that my children didn't sleep well last night because of nightmares or monsters under their bed.  You may not realize that they're sad because we just lost a pet.  You're unaware that they're dealing with a deployed daddy - or a mommy who had to travel for a few days.  They just came from the doctor's office where they had to get several immunizations or a specialists office to see why their body isn't functioning the way that other children's bodies are supposed to function.  Or, maybe they're just plain having a bad day because it's raining and they really wanted to go to the park.  And, they're definitely not happy because their sibling just broke their favorite toy.  Sometimes, they simply want to be selfish and get what they want, when they want it...don't we all?

During these times, I will make my best attempt to not disrupt your busy day or important work.  But, realize that I also am having a busy day with important work.  I'm growing our future.  I'm educating my children on the ways of the world and what is and is not appropriate at different times and locations.  I cannot do this without taking my children out into the world. 

When you see me dealing with each educational moment that my kids are going through, perhaps you could assist me with this education by modeling for my kids what appropriate behavior looks like - and it's not glaring at my children, yelling at or getting upset with them or me. As I am attempting to teach my own kids, if you don't have something nice to say (or a nice action to make), don't do it.  Perhaps my children's behavior is because they are seeing the actions and hearing the words of adults around them - I've found this to be true on many occasions.

I will respond to my children's behavior.  It may not be the way that you deem appropriate but, then again, you're not their parent.  You don't know the situations that have led up to this behavior nor do you always recognize their age and level of emotional and mental development that is appropriate with this age.  If you are annoyed by my children's behavior, then understand that I am exponentially more appalled when you don't recognize this educational experience we're working through.

Give my children a chance to learn from their mistakes.  Someday, they'll learn (at least I pray this to be true).


  1. AMEN! Unless there is a serious risk of the child hurting themselves or someone else, there is no need to say a darn thing - and in that case, being rude or acting annoying is not necessary. On the flip side, if I think it will help, I'm the weirdo who will bend down and wave or have a conversation to distract the kid while waiting in line or whatever. Why not help out a busy parent? And really, are active children in a store or restaurant any more annoying than someone being loud and rude on their phone? Or teens who think it's funny to be obnoxious and pushy in front of their friends? I think not. Kids are kids for Pete's sake - they are still LEARNING how to act in public!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Leadership Mom: SWOT Analysis

In business, leaders often analyze our Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats through a SWOT analysis.  So, if we are going to look at our role as moms as being the greatest leadership opportunity to us, let's start with analyzing ourselves and our kids.  Here's the SWOT I developed for my family: Family SWOT Analysis As a doting mother, there are hundreds of strengths that I could put up here for my kids.  Their hugs, kisses, bedtime stories and prayers, the fact that they come to me when they're seeking healing from an injury (physical or emotional), the notes and drawings they make for me, their precious hearts when they try to help me or that they've learned how to use the Keurig to bring me coffee in the morning...I could go on and on. Now, here's the part where we get honest with ourselves.  Yes, we love our kids and we love our family (or, hopefully, most of the time), but we are not perfect.  Nor should we be perfect.  As we analyze oursel

I'm no longer telling my kids to have fun

Today, I've made an important realization that is changing the way that I talk to my children.  I am no longer going to tell them to have fun. Don't get me wrong, I desperately desire that my children find joy, happiness and laughter through numerous experiences and adventures.  But, my children's definition of fun and mine have two VERY different meanings. I'll give you an example. My almost four-year-old son loves to destroy things.  He's like his dad - a man who just wants to learn how things work, as well as cause and effect.  So, he takes apart toys, sister's dolls, kitchen appliances, and more.  He tears books because "the story was in the wrong order."  He pushes buttons - both literally and figuratively.  He colors on walls, floors, computer monitors, furniture, carpet and more because he wants to create maps and "building plans" for his Duplos.  This is his idea of fun . Do you see my dilemma?  His idea of fun is so completel

Why can't they just be friends?

Why can't my kids just be friends?  I must ask myself this question hundreds of times during the week.  I thought that having kids relatively close together was going to be great.  They'd have a playmate and an automatic friend.  However, the truth is that - most of the time - they don't get along.  It's not that they're's that they drive each other crazy.  They each want the other one to do what they want to do.  Then, when the other one does what they want, they get mad at them because they wanted to do it themselves. They don't want to share their toys.  Then, they play together only to then get mad and purposefully break the other sibling's toys. They want to get the other one in trouble so that they look like the "good" child and get more rewards.  Then they get upset that the other sibling got them in trouble when they *tattled* on them. At mealtimes, they want to sit where the other one is sitting.  They want the c