Skip to main content

I'm a Mommy...Really?

A lot of people will tell you that the first time you glance into that bundle of joy's little eyes, you'll be hooked.  And, for many people this may be true.  For me; however, this "bundle of joy" that was handed to me felt more like an alien.  It took me a lot longer than the first glance to realize that this was my child and that I was, in fact, a mother.

Now, I don't want you to think that I despised my baby or didn't want to be a mother.  It was quite the opposite.  I had been hoping and praying for a baby for a long time.  And, upon learning the news of my pregnancy, I was elated!  But, throughout my pregnancy, it never truly hit me what it would feel like to be a mother.  And, it took several weeks after the birth of Baby to actually feel like I was a mother. 

When Baby was born, she didn't look like me, she didn't seem to recognize me or my voice, and I didn't have an instant connection with her.  After several days, my husband and I finally found one thing of hers that was from me: her earlobes.  "Really?!" I thought.  That's all she got from me.  She was the spitting image of my father-in-law, but it took months before other characteristics from me began to develop.  I would get upset and feel hurt inside whenever anyone would tell me that she looked exactly like my husband or my husband's family - after all, she came out of me and I was the one that went through all the pain! 

But, as I've grown into being a mommy, I recognize that I still have the best and greatest connection to my baby.  No one else has the connection that I have.  After birth, we spent hours doing skin to skin contact which I think helped to seal our bond.  Through nursing, this bond has strengthened and, today, there are often many times when I am the only one who can calm Baby.  This makes me feel proud and like I have a purpose after all (despite just being an incubator for nine months!).

So, for those of you who don't automatically feel connected to your baby - or those of you who didn't - know that you're not alone.  Transferring emotions, habits, and attitudes from being a sole person to having another soul to care for is not easy.  It takes time, patience, and a lot of prayer, but eventually it does happen.  Be sure to tell others what you're feeling, talk to other moms, and remember that we have the greatest job of all!

If it took time for you to feel like a mom, I'd encourage you to leave a note and let others know they're not alone.  We're all in this together!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why can't they just be friends?

Why can't my kids just be friends?  I must ask myself this question hundreds of times during the week. 

I thought that having kids relatively close together was going to be great.  They'd have a playmate and an automatic friend.  However, the truth is that - most of the time - they don't get along.  It's not that they're enemies...it's that they drive each other crazy. 

They each want the other one to do what they want to do.  Then, when the other one does what they want, they get mad at them because they wanted to do it themselves.

They don't want to share their toys.  Then, they play together only to then get mad and purposefully break the other sibling's toys.

They want to get the other one in trouble so that they look like the "good" child and get more rewards.  Then they get upset that the other sibling got them in trouble when they *tattled* on them.

At mealtimes, they want to sit where the other one is sitting.  They want the cup the ot…

Portland's Rose Summit

I have a great passion for working with women to become stronger leaders who are making differences in their communities.  It is with this in mind that I share with you an amazing opportunity for Portland women: the Junior League of Portland's inaugural Women's Empowerment & Leadership Summit.

This leadership summit will be held on May 11, 2018 at the Hilton Downtown Portland and is a day-long leadership and professional development conference open to all women in the Portland and surrounding communities.

The theme is Diversity and Inclusion and the Junior League is honored to feature Tarana Burke, activist and founder of the #MeToo Movement.  The Summit will offer opportunities for workshops, speakers, networking, and camaraderie among women in all stages of leadership around our community.

The Summit is a major fundraiser for the Junior League of Portland and all proceeds from the event support the League's community fund, the 1910 Campaign, with 100% of the money ra…

Don't forget the military child

I have a fierce passion for the military and military families, but there is one aspect of both of these groups that is often forgotten: the military child.

In case you didn't know it, April is the month of the military child.  There are currently about 1.7 million children connected to the military, 75% of whom are school-aged.  Over 80% of these students attend U.S. public schools...so your local schools most likely have a child impacted by military service.

As adults - especially if we are associated with the military - we can have an understanding for military life.  We may not always like it, but we understand the concepts of transition, hurry up and wait, and separations.  These concepts aren't so easily understandable - or explainable - to our children.

The average military child will move every three years (that's 6-9 times during their K-12 years).  They also face numerous separations from one or both of their parents.  These can cause turmoil that need to be add…