Skip to main content

Remembering the "why"

It's been a long time since I've posted anything on this blog, so hopefully I have a few followers still reading.  To update you on what's happened in my life, a few months back, my family welcomed a darling baby boy into our lives!  And, it's this addition that has brought me back to the blog with new material to write.

Before I go into the details of my six months of a combo of complete and modified bed rest or that my husband and doctor both nearly missed the birth of my darling baby boy, I want to start my blog with what's happened since the birth of my son.

My "Buddy" - as my darling Sweet Pea likes to call him (she's now over 2 years old!) - has had a few complications since entering our family.  Because of these complications, my desire to fully nurse my son has had some setbacks.  At one month, my son had poor weight gain and, after several more weight checks, we found he was actually losing weight.  Our doctor was thorough in checking for problems and, eventually (after a lot of prayer and crying on my end), we decided to stop fully nursing and switch to pumping and bottle feeding (both to verify his intake volume and to supplement with a human milk fortifier).  And, for three months, I had to feed my son every three hours, around the clock.  There was no trying to get him to sleep through the night.

For those of you who have read my blog for any length of time, you may have come to learn that I'm a little OCD when it comes to my children.  I analyze everything.  In fact, recently, I realized I've been doing this with my son.  I have been so dedicated to trying to get him to gain weight by making sure I am pumping enough to keep my milk supply up and, when it starts to go down, I take my supplements (we'll talk about Milk Rich in another blog).  Basically, I count my ounces of milk more meticulously than I count my own money.  My goal, my deepest desire at this stage, for my son and me, is to get him to gain enough weight so that we can go back to fully nursing and he will thrive. 

The problem with all of this is that I seem to have lost sight of why I had a child.  It wasn't so that I could become a dairy cow - constantly hooked up to a pump.  It wasn't even so that I could have the opportunity to nurse (although I see that as a side benefit).  No, the reason I had a child was to enjoy his presence and be able to teach and nurture him.  Somewhere along the way, my mind got too wrapped around the details to enjoy the big picture: I have a son!  I have a family! 

I don't know if anyone reading this has gone through anything similar.  Maybe it wasn't with nursing, but with something else.  Maybe it wasn't even with kids, but another area of your life that you've forgotten to realize what you actually have right in front of you.  But, I hope that you are able to pause, look at that thing you've got, and enjoy it.  I am right now as I type this post way too late at night, when I should be sleeping because my Buddy is, next to my son's crib watching him sleep.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Leadership Mom: SWOT Analysis

In business, leaders often analyze our Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats through a SWOT analysis.  So, if we are going to look at our role as moms as being the greatest leadership opportunity to us, let's start with analyzing ourselves and our kids.  Here's the SWOT I developed for my family: Family SWOT Analysis As a doting mother, there are hundreds of strengths that I could put up here for my kids.  Their hugs, kisses, bedtime stories and prayers, the fact that they come to me when they're seeking healing from an injury (physical or emotional), the notes and drawings they make for me, their precious hearts when they try to help me or that they've learned how to use the Keurig to bring me coffee in the morning...I could go on and on. Now, here's the part where we get honest with ourselves.  Yes, we love our kids and we love our family (or, hopefully, most of the time), but we are not perfect.  Nor should we be perfect.  As we analyze oursel

I'm no longer telling my kids to have fun

Today, I've made an important realization that is changing the way that I talk to my children.  I am no longer going to tell them to have fun. Don't get me wrong, I desperately desire that my children find joy, happiness and laughter through numerous experiences and adventures.  But, my children's definition of fun and mine have two VERY different meanings. I'll give you an example. My almost four-year-old son loves to destroy things.  He's like his dad - a man who just wants to learn how things work, as well as cause and effect.  So, he takes apart toys, sister's dolls, kitchen appliances, and more.  He tears books because "the story was in the wrong order."  He pushes buttons - both literally and figuratively.  He colors on walls, floors, computer monitors, furniture, carpet and more because he wants to create maps and "building plans" for his Duplos.  This is his idea of fun . Do you see my dilemma?  His idea of fun is so completel

Why can't they just be friends?

Why can't my kids just be friends?  I must ask myself this question hundreds of times during the week.  I thought that having kids relatively close together was going to be great.  They'd have a playmate and an automatic friend.  However, the truth is that - most of the time - they don't get along.  It's not that they're enemies...it's that they drive each other crazy.  They each want the other one to do what they want to do.  Then, when the other one does what they want, they get mad at them because they wanted to do it themselves. They don't want to share their toys.  Then, they play together only to then get mad and purposefully break the other sibling's toys. They want to get the other one in trouble so that they look like the "good" child and get more rewards.  Then they get upset that the other sibling got them in trouble when they *tattled* on them. At mealtimes, they want to sit where the other one is sitting.  They want the c