Skip to main content

Control

As a parent, I strive to maintain control of my children, my responses regarding their often unusual and sometimes inappropriate actions, my sanity, and so much more.  I use benefits (a.k.a. bribery) and discipline to seek control.  I beg and plead - both to my children and God - for control.  However, after several years of parenting, I've quickly learned that control is the one thing we either quickly lose or never have.

Evidence:
My daughter was easy to potty train.  On her third birthday, she announced that she was a big girl and she no longer needed to wear diapers or pull ups.  From that point on, she didn't.  Since then, she's only had two accidents when someone else was watching her and forgot to remind her to use the potty before bedtime.

My son is another story.  Yes, he's still young.  No, at 2-1/2, I do not expect him to be potty trained yet. However, that isn't stopping him from trying.  Every chance he gets, he takes off his own pants and diaper and then pees or poops on the floor (his favorite is on the carpet, not the hardwood floors and favorite time is right before we're leaving the house or at the end of the day when I'm exhausted).  He then proudly exclaims that he went pee and/or poop.  He's thrilled over the control that he has on his bodily functions.  I'm not so thrilled (*understatement*) over the lack of control I have on where and when he decides to exert his control.  However, he's showing me my absolute lack of control over this area of his life.  I cannot control his bodily functions.

Now, all of this does not mean I don't try to assert control.  When I've had too many poopy (literally) days, I load him up with the BRAT diet.  If he's peeing in every room in my house, I take away his water bottle.  But, he knows I'll eventually feed and water him.  He understands that I love him and won't neglect his daily nourishment.  He knows he has so much more control over this situation than I do...but I try.

If only bodily functions were the only area my children attempted to assert their control.



Lately though, I've decided to give up my control.  After all, the more I attempt to control these situations, the more control I lose.  Instead of maintaining control over the individual situations I'm controlling the larger story that we are a family who works together.  We've made games out of keeping our pants (and diapers) on.  We've started the reward of choosing the daily location of the potty.  We've rewritten the story of what control looks like.  Yes, I still can't control my son's bodily functions (I'm sure this will continue to haunt me as he grows into a gaseous teenager), but we're having fun pretending we all have control over this scenario.

Now, if I can only figure out how to control myself from finishing off all the rest of our Halloween candy...


A special thank you to the Baby Björn Smart Potty for help with potty training both in our house and on the road.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

If you give a mom a coffee cup

If you give a mom a coffee cup, she'll say "thank you" and immediately go to the coffee pot. 

At the coffee pot, she'll start the coffee and pour herself a cup...noticing the full cup of cold coffee that she poured herself yesterday.

She'll take the cold cup of coffee to the sink, dump it down the drain, and go to put it in the dishwasher.

She'll open the dishwasher and realize that it's full of clean dishes that need to be put away.

She'll put away all of the clean dishes and then will put in the dirty - now empty - cup of coffee from yesterday.

She'll notice that there are other dirty dishes in the sink that need to go into the dishwasher, so she'll put them all in the dishwasher.

She'll then realize that there may be other dirty dishes other places in the house and will go looking for them...finding them in bathrooms, on the coffee table, under beds, and in the sandbox outside.

While looking for dirty dishes, she'll notice that ther…

Leadership Mom

Maybe you noticed that it's been a while since I posted...maybe not.  There's a good reason for this.  I've been an exhausted mom.  Lately, it seems that I find myself going in one direction only to look back and see that my kids, husband, work, school, dog...you name it...are going in the opposite direction.  I've tried pushing through.  I've thought about just giving in.  I've even thought how am I going to survive another day.  The days get longer and longer as I stay up later and later trying to accomplish all of the tasks that I think I'm supposed to be accomplishing throughout the day.

Then, a kid gets sick.  Then, another kids...and another kid...gets sick.  Then, the husband gets sick.  Then, the dog has to go to the vet.  And, finally, after everyone is well and we're in the midst of the busiest week of our lives...I get sick.

At this point, I have to understand that I'm not superhuman.  Or so you would think.  But, as a mom, I feel the pre…

Leadership Mom: Vision

Before we delve too deep into the strategies and planning on our leadership as moms, we have to first talk about what our vision is.

We aren't talking about our daily mission that - if you're like me - is often just to survive the day.  Nor are we talking about the generic response, "To raise well-mannered children."  Because, really...there's a lot more to it than just having good manners when you send them out the door at 18.

Our vision is our grandiose dream - the ideal - of who we are as an organization (a.k.a., family).  This is the perfect scenario - our dream - with no failures or setbacks.  When I think about my vision for my family, I think about having patience; developing deep, meaningful relationships with my kids and husband; working together as a family; making a positive impact on our extended family and the neighbors around us (maybe even around the nation and world), staying healthy and safe, and continually learning.

So, perhaps I'm asking f…