Today, I've made an important realization that is changing the way that I talk to my children. I am no longer going to tell them to have fun.
Don't get me wrong, I desperately desire that my children find joy, happiness and laughter through numerous experiences and adventures. But, my children's definition of fun and mine have two VERY different meanings. I'll give you an example.
My almost four-year-old son loves to destroy things. He's like his dad - a man who just wants to learn how things work, as well as cause and effect. So, he takes apart toys, sister's dolls, kitchen appliances, and more. He tears books because "the story was in the wrong order." He pushes buttons - both literally and figuratively. He colors on walls, floors, computer monitors, furniture, carpet and more because he wants to create maps and "building plans" for his Duplos. This is his idea of fun.
Do you see my dilemma? His idea of fun is so completely the opposite of what I want him to do!!! Yes, I can still see the joy that he would get through each of these antics. But, he's slowly driving me to the brink of insanity! I've tried adding stipulations like, "Have fun, but be good." Yet, good is such a subjective word for a toddler. If he simply says "please" and "thank you" or "I'm sorry," he thinks he is being good.
So, here's my idea. From now on, I am going to stop telling my children - especially my son - to "have fun" and will instead tell them to "keep Mommy sane." But, my flaw in this might be that they've only ever experienced the insanity that comes with being a mother and a parent...so their translation of sane may still cause me insanity.
Don't get me wrong, I desperately desire that my children find joy, happiness and laughter through numerous experiences and adventures. But, my children's definition of fun and mine have two VERY different meanings. I'll give you an example.
My almost four-year-old son loves to destroy things. He's like his dad - a man who just wants to learn how things work, as well as cause and effect. So, he takes apart toys, sister's dolls, kitchen appliances, and more. He tears books because "the story was in the wrong order." He pushes buttons - both literally and figuratively. He colors on walls, floors, computer monitors, furniture, carpet and more because he wants to create maps and "building plans" for his Duplos. This is his idea of fun.
Do you see my dilemma? His idea of fun is so completely the opposite of what I want him to do!!! Yes, I can still see the joy that he would get through each of these antics. But, he's slowly driving me to the brink of insanity! I've tried adding stipulations like, "Have fun, but be good." Yet, good is such a subjective word for a toddler. If he simply says "please" and "thank you" or "I'm sorry," he thinks he is being good.
So, here's my idea. From now on, I am going to stop telling my children - especially my son - to "have fun" and will instead tell them to "keep Mommy sane." But, my flaw in this might be that they've only ever experienced the insanity that comes with being a mother and a parent...so their translation of sane may still cause me insanity.
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| "What fun can I have next???" |
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