Skip to main content

Ask the difficult questions

This past week as I was breezing through my day-to-day life, I was blindsided after one small conversation with another mom who I had never previously met. Randomly, we began a conversation (over something so mundane I can no longer recall what it was) and this mom began to tear up.  Not being an extremely emotional (at least on the outside) person, I had no clue what to do. So, I asked her if she needed something. Her response is one I'll never forget.

This stranger of a mom heartbreakingly explained to me that just a few short weeks ago, her teenage son committed suicide. I knew of this tragic death through suburbia chat from friends who had teenagers in the same local high school. So, while it was not new information for me, it suddenly hit home.

SOMEONE'S.CHILD.DIED

This wasn't news to me, but now it was - and still is - personal to me.  Too often we count the numbers, look at the statistics, of death and suicides. We seek to resolve a crisis which can truly never be resolved because you cannot bring these children back to life.  I don't know the situation of this one death, but I look at its impact on this one mom and have to wonder how things got so messy.

But, how often do we ever just stop...look around us...at something beyond ourselves...at something outside of the people we live with, work with and relate to?  How often do we see the problems around us - the messes in which we and our children live - and we try to do something instead of simply avoiding them by sweeping them under the rug?  How often do we actually get down on our hands and knees and put ourselves into the messes so that we can actually make a difference in cleaning them up?

A lot of the messes in which we live cannot be simply solved. They are complex - multi-faceted. But, we can start to work on them by simply understanding them...we can ask the difficult questions and seek out true answers that bring us to what's really happening in these messes. We stop accepting the status quo responses that are a facade put in place to make it appear all is well. We look deeper. 

Asking the difficult questions, and understanding the answers may startle us, is important. We have become too complacent with the "Everything is fine" response - and seldom do we go beyond it. But, asking the difficult questions of ourselves, our family (especially our children), our friends and neighbors, our schools, and more will bring us to the real problems...from which we can begin to develop real solutions. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

If you give a mom a coffee cup

If you give a mom a coffee cup, she'll say "thank you" and immediately go to the coffee pot. 

At the coffee pot, she'll start the coffee and pour herself a cup...noticing the full cup of cold coffee that she poured herself yesterday.

She'll take the cold cup of coffee to the sink, dump it down the drain, and go to put it in the dishwasher.

She'll open the dishwasher and realize that it's full of clean dishes that need to be put away.

She'll put away all of the clean dishes and then will put in the dirty - now empty - cup of coffee from yesterday.

She'll notice that there are other dirty dishes in the sink that need to go into the dishwasher, so she'll put them all in the dishwasher.

She'll then realize that there may be other dirty dishes other places in the house and will go looking for them...finding them in bathrooms, on the coffee table, under beds, and in the sandbox outside.

While looking for dirty dishes, she'll notice that ther…

Leadership Mom

Maybe you noticed that it's been a while since I posted...maybe not.  There's a good reason for this.  I've been an exhausted mom.  Lately, it seems that I find myself going in one direction only to look back and see that my kids, husband, work, school, dog...you name it...are going in the opposite direction.  I've tried pushing through.  I've thought about just giving in.  I've even thought how am I going to survive another day.  The days get longer and longer as I stay up later and later trying to accomplish all of the tasks that I think I'm supposed to be accomplishing throughout the day.

Then, a kid gets sick.  Then, another kids...and another kid...gets sick.  Then, the husband gets sick.  Then, the dog has to go to the vet.  And, finally, after everyone is well and we're in the midst of the busiest week of our lives...I get sick.

At this point, I have to understand that I'm not superhuman.  Or so you would think.  But, as a mom, I feel the pre…

Leadership Mom: Vision

Before we delve too deep into the strategies and planning on our leadership as moms, we have to first talk about what our vision is.

We aren't talking about our daily mission that - if you're like me - is often just to survive the day.  Nor are we talking about the generic response, "To raise well-mannered children."  Because, really...there's a lot more to it than just having good manners when you send them out the door at 18.

Our vision is our grandiose dream - the ideal - of who we are as an organization (a.k.a., family).  This is the perfect scenario - our dream - with no failures or setbacks.  When I think about my vision for my family, I think about having patience; developing deep, meaningful relationships with my kids and husband; working together as a family; making a positive impact on our extended family and the neighbors around us (maybe even around the nation and world), staying healthy and safe, and continually learning.

So, perhaps I'm asking f…