Murphy's Laws for Moms

Fish tales. This is how I currently live my life. Every day is filled with them. Do your kids only ever speak in superlatives?  Every day, all day, I learn of the best, biggest, fastest, prettiest, worst...things in the whole wide world.  Perhaps it's because these things are being viewed by tiny eyes or perhaps it's because, to my kids, everything is extreme.  Whatever the reason, my kids only speak in "fish tales." This is the biggest fish in the whole wide world! Share your fish stories in the comments below.

I'm all for teaching my children about technology and it's pros and cons. I believe they need to learn this at a young age. After all, three years ago when my daughter first entered preschool, I was told it was the last year they were going to be learning mouse (as in computer mouses, mice...however you pluralize this word) skills. My 2-1/2-year-old was learning a skill I didn't learn until late high school or college - and it was now becoming extinct!  Technology is ever-changing and our children will learn it either from me or someone else...I definitely prefer they learn it from me. But, in teaching my  children about technology, I've learned of a downside that isn't as bad as social media bullying or strengthening kid lock programs to keep young minds away from online pornography and other graphic websites. It also isn't nearly as destructive as my toddler taking apart my toaster just to "see what's inside."  To me, this downside is simply...

Keep spare, full-size towels in every bathroom. You never know when your child will make Niagara Falls out of the sink or toilet. Oh, and PB&J's aren't flushable. If I get 10,000 people to view this post, I'll share the picture proof of this fact!

One of the greatest things that I think I can teach my children is how to show other people God's love.  This can be done through so many things: helping them when they need help, smiling at them, giving hugs, talking to them, and generally being a nice person. However, just as with teaching any other concept to small children, it's not so easy.  My children mimic what they see around them and - let's face it - that's not always God's love.  Even I (gasp) don't always show my children God's love.  I get frustrated, impatient, and even angry when my children do something they aren't supposed to.  Then, the phrases that come out of my mouth tend to come out of my children's mouths when they get frustrated, impatient and angry...phrases such as, "Seriously!" "What were you thinking?" "STOP!" and "No! That's unacceptable."  It's not necessarily that these are bad phrases in and of themselves.  In fact, ...

Do the words coming out of your children's mouths ever bother you? They used to bother me. I don't like being told I'm mean or that my child wants a new mommy. It's not fun to be screamed or growled at. I especially don't like when my children say they hate me. But, they are growing and learning boundaries. So, if I have to be the mean mom because I draw the line at throwing temper tantrums in the store because I said we couldn't buy that toy or candy bar because I believe my kids need to not only understand they can't have everything, but also the value of a dollar and patience in waiting for good things, then I'm ok with being the mean mom. I'm also ok with being hated because my child got put in time out or had toys taken away when they were putting themselves or others at risk of injury by not following safety rules or getting in a fight with someone else. If being a mean mom is what it takes so my child understands and recognizes bounda...

Here's yet another way to help kids learn through hopscotch...or have them tell you that you don't know how to count.

As a parent, I have found myself saying - and arguing - things that I never imagined I would.    We don't pet puppy bottoms.   Food does not go in the potty.   I've just answered your same question fifteen times,  so why don't you tell me what you think the real answer is. Yet, there seems to always be an argument that Murphy gets involved in and I simply cannot win .  Lately, this is the unicorn debate. The unicorn debate began when my daughter was approaching her fifth birthday.  She watched a Dora episode in which there is a magical unicorn who can fly the children around the sky.  It was such a happy unicorn and so, obviously, my daughter wanted one.  When I told her that unicorns are not real, the debate began. The debate started as a simple statement of, "Mommy, I want a real unicorn for my birthday.  One with magical powers that can fly."  The response that unicorns are not real was not understo...