Skip to main content

Do you really have control?

There are numerous books, blogs and thoughts on potty training.  So, I thought, while my youngest child is currently undergoing this tremendous challenge in my his life, I thought I would add my two cents.

Potty training has nothing to do about training your child to go potty in a potty.  No.  After numerous consulting of professionals and parents who've been here before, I've determined that potty training is an inaccurate term for this station in life.  The correct term is "Children training their parents that the one and only thing they [the child] can fully control is their bodily functions, including when and where they function."

Parents like to believe in this fictional place where we have control over every aspect (100%) of our children's lives.  However, in numerous realities - including my own - this percentage is quite a bit less.  I have control over the clothes that appear in my children's closet and dresser drawers through me being the primary purchaser of their clothes.  I sometimes have control over what they choose to wear each day if I choose to wage this battle in the morning.  I have control over the food that is placed in front of my children during each dining period.  I rarely have control over the amount that makes it into their stomach [I say stomach because much of it makes it into their mouth but not all the way through the digestive process].  I even have control over when I decide to "potty train" my children.  But, let's take a closer look at where that control ends...

When I decide it's time to start potty training my children, I have control over the fact that big boy/girl underwear/panties appear in my children's dresser drawers.

If I want my children to actually wear said big boy/girl undergarments, then I do not have control over the fact that I must give in to the marketing genius of putting Hello Kitty, Minnie Mouse, Planes, and Cars characters on said undergarments.  I despise these gimmicks.  I do not see the point in my child parading around in undergarments that they want to showcase to everyone they see in our house, out on a walk, in a store...Nor do I enjoy the fact that my son screams, "Corn. It gives you gas" every time he wears his Planes underwear while using the potty in a public setting.

While I have control over the fact that my children must sit on the potty at specific times during the day, before we leave the house, when we return, and before bed time, I do not have control over the fact that my child will also have to go potty at the most inopportune time - like when I'm standing in the long grocery line on a tight schedule.

If I actually require that my children go pee or poop in the potty during each restroom visit, then I do not have control over the length of time that we will be in the restroom.  Sometimes I think that my children believe that the purpose of life must be fully debated prior to each and every release of bodily fluids - especially when we've had to run to the potty while standing in a very long line at the grocery store and I'm on a tight schedule.

Although I may assume I have control of the situation after my child has gone potty in the potty, they will prove to me I don't by then going potty in their pants 5 minutes later...usually not the easy kind to clean up.

While I have control in the excitement generated each time my children actually "go" on the potty (Yes, we have a potty song and a potty dance), I do not have control over the fact that my children will do this same song and dance when they've decided to use nature's bathroom because they couldn't quite make it inside the house when they were busy playing outside.  [Yes, neighbors, you saw correctly that my child used your bushes.  I promise to treat them as a pet and clean up after them.]

After all is said and done, I've realized that I have only about a 1% control over this whole potty training concept.  My kids realized this a lot faster than I did and have extorted this knowledge.


*Be sure to come back for tomorrow's blog topic: The rules of potty training.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

If you give a mom a coffee cup

If you give a mom a coffee cup, she'll say "thank you" and immediately go to the coffee pot. 

At the coffee pot, she'll start the coffee and pour herself a cup...noticing the full cup of cold coffee that she poured herself yesterday.

She'll take the cold cup of coffee to the sink, dump it down the drain, and go to put it in the dishwasher.

She'll open the dishwasher and realize that it's full of clean dishes that need to be put away.

She'll put away all of the clean dishes and then will put in the dirty - now empty - cup of coffee from yesterday.

She'll notice that there are other dirty dishes in the sink that need to go into the dishwasher, so she'll put them all in the dishwasher.

She'll then realize that there may be other dirty dishes other places in the house and will go looking for them...finding them in bathrooms, on the coffee table, under beds, and in the sandbox outside.

While looking for dirty dishes, she'll notice that ther…

Why can't they just be friends?

Why can't my kids just be friends?  I must ask myself this question hundreds of times during the week. 

I thought that having kids relatively close together was going to be great.  They'd have a playmate and an automatic friend.  However, the truth is that - most of the time - they don't get along.  It's not that they're enemies...it's that they drive each other crazy. 

They each want the other one to do what they want to do.  Then, when the other one does what they want, they get mad at them because they wanted to do it themselves.

They don't want to share their toys.  Then, they play together only to then get mad and purposefully break the other sibling's toys.

They want to get the other one in trouble so that they look like the "good" child and get more rewards.  Then they get upset that the other sibling got them in trouble when they *tattled* on them.

At mealtimes, they want to sit where the other one is sitting.  They want the cup the ot…

Portland's Rose Summit

I have a great passion for working with women to become stronger leaders who are making differences in their communities.  It is with this in mind that I share with you an amazing opportunity for Portland women: the Junior League of Portland's inaugural Women's Empowerment & Leadership Summit.

This leadership summit will be held on May 11, 2018 at the Hilton Downtown Portland and is a day-long leadership and professional development conference open to all women in the Portland and surrounding communities.

The theme is Diversity and Inclusion and the Junior League is honored to feature Tarana Burke, activist and founder of the #MeToo Movement.  The Summit will offer opportunities for workshops, speakers, networking, and camaraderie among women in all stages of leadership around our community.

The Summit is a major fundraiser for the Junior League of Portland and all proceeds from the event support the League's community fund, the 1910 Campaign, with 100% of the money ra…