Do you ever have moments, days, weeks, months or longer where you just wonder how your life has gotten to where it is? It's not quite a midlife crisis, but it seems like it could get there. You question choices made. You question the path you're on. You shut yourself up somewhere - a bathroom, closet, the car, anywhere - to have a moment to yourself because you just don't know who you are anymore. You don't recognize yourself or your own life.
This has been my season in life lately.
I put myself up against other parents - past and present - and realize that I'm lacking. My house isn't clean. My child went to school in mismatched clothes with her hair a mess. My other child has a giant bruise on his [fill in the blank depending on the day]. I fed my kids McDonald's...in the car...for the 3rd day in a row. I didn't shower this morning. Not sure if I showered yesterday. My outfits haven't been trendy since 1997, but I figure they'll eventually come back into style if I keep wearing them long enough. I need to get my roots touched up. I found another gray or, as I like to call it, overly processed blonde. I can't find the kids' lunchboxes which means I probably left them in the backseat of the car under all of the other toys and coats with yesterday's uneaten food still simmering in the plasticwear (that may or may not be BPA-free).
My children throw tantrums. They tell me they want another mother. They hit. They scream. They play the same song over and over and over and over and over and over again. They ask the same questions we answered 10 minutes ago. They get into the debates of wanting to be a big girl/boy, but then five minutes later they want to be babied.
My sanity is stretched thin. My trust of myself and my choices diminish. I'm exhausted.
I'm a mom.
Through all of these questioning moments, the fighting times, the search for answers, sanity and peace, the truth is that I'm enough. Each of us moms are enough. What more do we need to understand?
This has been my season in life lately.
I put myself up against other parents - past and present - and realize that I'm lacking. My house isn't clean. My child went to school in mismatched clothes with her hair a mess. My other child has a giant bruise on his [fill in the blank depending on the day]. I fed my kids McDonald's...in the car...for the 3rd day in a row. I didn't shower this morning. Not sure if I showered yesterday. My outfits haven't been trendy since 1997, but I figure they'll eventually come back into style if I keep wearing them long enough. I need to get my roots touched up. I found another gray or, as I like to call it, overly processed blonde. I can't find the kids' lunchboxes which means I probably left them in the backseat of the car under all of the other toys and coats with yesterday's uneaten food still simmering in the plasticwear (that may or may not be BPA-free).
My children throw tantrums. They tell me they want another mother. They hit. They scream. They play the same song over and over and over and over and over and over again. They ask the same questions we answered 10 minutes ago. They get into the debates of wanting to be a big girl/boy, but then five minutes later they want to be babied.
My sanity is stretched thin. My trust of myself and my choices diminish. I'm exhausted.
I'm a mom.
Through all of these questioning moments, the fighting times, the search for answers, sanity and peace, the truth is that I'm enough. Each of us moms are enough. What more do we need to understand?
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